Baggins’ World

You’re everything I’m not
Everything I should have been
And I thought you would make me complete.
But now I know that you’re not THE one.
Suddenly, that false hope is dead
And with it a thousand devotions
Overfed on love songs and romance.

There’s no aching void at the heart of me,
It’s just the shape I am.

And I feel free.

age pee mp3
3d free bdsm movies
oral whores
pissing fetish
young nudist girls
sex hard
child porn xxx
picture facial features compare chinese korean japenesse
where to buy nylon tea bags
officegirl bukkake
mily anal beastiality
free female beastiality stories
free male celebrities naked
free first time sex stories
bow making machines
private parts of women
bare fist fight
extreme holly pissing
natural penis enlargement excercises
latina women nude
vagina cam
effects of masterbation
skinny dick
dirty adult jokes
bi male images
my heart tongue fall out boy
local sluts
paris hilton anal
diy tongue piercing
oral diflucan yeast infections
busty blog
hand foot and mouth disease
piss lovers
free adult erotic comics
swingers sites
male masturbation stories getting caught
lady bird johnson mn
christina applegate upskirt
latex masks moving lips
school sluts
big military cock gay masterbation
booty barker nextel cup crew chief
black cocks white jock studs
mom fuck
red head bikini babes
bdsm sex videos
brittany spears paparazzi shots
men stripped bound glory hole
Bubble Butts Galore-4 CD-1
largest vagina
latex vagina
chubby asian girls
family gay
ichigo hentai
nudist nudism beach girls
hard buff hunks
female erection
outdoor threesome
first anal pain
Discovering The Girl Next Door-3
My Wifes 1st Monster Cock-9 CD-1
paris hilton free sex
upskirt new
gay male videos
cheerleader strips
huge strapon
jerk me
official military personnel files
tranny getting fucked
pornstar cum swap
hard to concentrate
nonpiercing penis jewelry
stephanie mcmahon sucking cock
fuck daughter
spanking erotic stories
jennifer aniston upskirt
free hand job
lesbian teen movies
all girl toys
Neighbor Affair-5 CD-2
g spot orgasm video
deep throat the movie
rough sex movies
crazy sluts
free amature web cams
hentai office
horny nun
girls tied in bikini
little tit
wife swinging
pre teen model gallery
ipanema beach girls
male gothic lolitas
free full hentai movies
nude teenagers
gay eating cum
bbw cameltoe
cute little boobs
fantasie lingerie
Big Wet Butts CD-2
young cunt gallery
factory direct dvd vhs caught behind artist
disney incest
young girl peeing
hen bestiality
mommy fetish
free to watch adult web cams
really funny shit
uk tranny
gay mature fuck
sexy lesbians kissing
teen topanga username and password
preteen nipple slips
mature saggy tits
clit huge big large monster
reality tv uncensored pics
free galleries porn
big girls
anal maids
blow job gag
interest rate swaps accounting
bare the tits in public
huge tits teacher
bestiality passwords
jizz swallow
sexy blonde fuck
big butt blondes
for microsoft office home and student 2007 keygen
fat bitch fucked
free erotic videos
adult voyeur
fucking machines beerandshots
male masturbation machines
sex and candy
naughty catholic school girl
paparazzi celebrity
enormous perfect tits
student facial
free code sexcam
skinny dip girl
over the mouth gag
free passwords for porn sites
hot celebrities naked
bbw phone sex
big dicks little chicks
cheerleader handjob
my first sex teacher videos
sexy blonde chicks
guy on girl sexcam
muscular college girls
Oversized Boobies-2 CD-1
sexy costumes and french maid
serena williams naked
sie sieht mich nicht
ear piercing training studs plastic
hustler magazine constructin workers
ex-girlfriend oral sluts
milf ruby
creampie xxx
mature fuck galleries

sex with teacher
latina women nude
blonde amateur sex
lesbian bikini babes
teacher ffm
double anal triple penetration
denim tight
secretaries fetish
early childhood teacher forms letters
hot horny hunks
male to female sex change
what are camel toes
40 inch butts
jizz clips
archos 504 personal media player
sheraton wild horse pass resort
surgery fenugreek breast enlargement
life teen
erotic nude girls
free female beastiality stories
mouth lesions young children tongue
free female ejaculation videos
twinks sex
hot asian sex
fucked hard brunette
Cream Filled Cuties-2 CD-2
free midget porn pictures
bound for glory
squirt on me
big horny brazil
thumb in her ass mouth fuck
vagina cam
tight teen ass
coeds fuck for cash
gymnastic camel toe
squirting 101
fitness personal professional training
paris hilton boob job
hustler couples
drawstring nylon bag
jobs working with animals
hot korean girl rides a cock
horny spanish
wholesale dog nylon slip lead
linda hogan upskirt
cheerleader porn lesbian
too young lolita
crack slut
richard wear the hustler
down south hustlers mp3
ai yori aoshi hentai
upskirt pre-teen panties
dick sizes
dick haymes
free tit boob tgp sites
springs creative products group
briana banks lesbian
sex with the maid
nude grannies
hp psc 2175xi driver download
drunk driving photos
ear piercing training studs plastic
fkk family
brigitte quinns sexy legs
family incest free stories
latinas nude
mature porn pics
verizon lg vx3300 download realtones
historical olsen farm michigan
free videos granny whores
latex masks moving lips
hard to find movies
free gay sex galleries
body piercing courses in uk
huge tits teacher
femdom stories
shave gels
anal shit
shagging beach music lyrics
wife hidden cam
cute dog names
Tesao Na Adolescencia CD-2
teen first time sex stories
my wifes clit
double doors
fantasy erotic stories
spanking bench
korean girl girl
naturist boys
student fucks teacher
hot petite lick
free erotic videos
Private Life Of 43 Life of Maria Belucci CD-1
male masturbation stories getting caught
trucker rest area gloryhole
lesbian sex orgies
lesbian lovers squirt
tranny strapon
milfs caught on cam
cummings reality company
large breasted amateur
Bubble Butts Galore-4 CD-1
sucking boobs videos
free male celebrity sex tapes
petite hotties
furry artwork adult
very hot toys
where to buy nylon tea bags
big tits in tight clothing
massive female bukkake
petite blowjob
lingerie dildo babe
cuckold interacial wife
tall leather work boot
brazilian trannies
hard rock casino las vegas
free pantyhose samples
latina round ass fucked hard
india summer milf
nude redhead galleries
old wives
young and horny
girls pee pee
navicular foot vascular supply images
i caught mom cheating on dad
extreme incest
thick booty black girls
big girls
blond ass
vagina during orgasm
deep sea fishing destin fl
keira knightley porn
monster penis
adult voyeur
vintage fuck
deep throat the movie
gothic vampire myspace layouts
body piercings and tattoo
fat indian girl
free scat shit videos
suck my toes
hot squirting orgasms
finance household loan personal
public male nudity
females with hairy arms
bdsm toy
horny gay men in showers
femdom male slave
dog lover tee shirt
paparazzi nude free
amd assembly compare and swap code
hard buff hunks
free hardcore sex videos
school sluts
over the mouth gag
school girls xxx
ballhoneys please fuck my roommate wmv
newport beach breast reconstruction
masturbation video
perfect shemales

help to quit smoking
milfriders.com password
wholesale dog nylon slip lead
vagina cam
black shemale cock
enormous penis gallery
free gay sex galleries
free anal video clips
wife’s tits cum
teen lingerie model
cartoon bukkake
brittany spears paparazzi shots
teen clit lick
asian thong gallery
smoking fetish forums
make erect nipples
anal maids
lingerie for young teens
large breasted women
ffm threesome free movies
bare the tits in public
large black cock
crossdressers orgy
bukkake video clips
shaved body parts
cute sluts
black girls eating pussy
ebony big tits ffm
studio rental paris
filipina asian
celeb upskirts
hooters spanking
latina round ass fucked hard
anal sex shemale
free mature hairy pussy
lady marmalade parties
girls drinking cum
old man neil young
chubby girls having sex
fantasy erotic stories
tv moms nude
jennifer aniston upskirt
piercing the clitoris
exotic filipina gro manila cebu hotels
huge strapon
gay military sexx
girls sucking cock through gloryhole
hot gorgeous horny coed girls fucked
vaginal fucking
large print readers digest
goat whore
ass fucked granny
teen girls dating men 10 to 20 years older
fake celebs nude
pedo blogs
boys spanked
fucked by dog
nude athletes
tattooed nipples
virgin asians
young girls oral sex
extreme flexible girls
hustlers muzik
Interracial Vixens-2
mya whatever bitch mp3
young chick small tits
Anal Recruiters CD-2
lingerie dildo babe
coats choice horse stud australia
Neighbor Affair-5 CD-2
cute dog names
wife hidden cam
Big Boob Party-4 CD-1
free wives gallery
sexy heels & stockings
hymen virgin
beast slut
baby butts
ghost boot disk failure
animal fetishes
redhead sucks
victoria paris fucking
dog sex videos
breast enhancement san jose
exhibitionists beach
nonpiercing penis jewelry
school girl sluts
new found glory sonny mp3
sexy beach dresses
cum girls
orgasm dildo
rough sex movies
filipina free cunt photos
keira knightley breasts
women fucking dog
beijing blog
naked chick videos
jesus loves porn
coed wrestling sex
gangbang interracial
teen lingerie pics
creampie housewives
milwaukee county zoo ala carte
mature and twink
milf interracial
sexcam jasmin
enormous fake tits
live adult webcam chat webcams
huge cock facial
anal facial
bi porn incest
sexy nude celebrities
anal women
fairy tribal tattoo designs
boba fett toys
college lesbian
bow making machines
big milf tits
teen topanga username and password
first anal encounter
older men penis
lohan nude blog
teens in bikinis
facial rejuvenation ct
sex with teacher
bigtits boss
xxx passwords xxx
oral whores
redhead maature porn galleries
how to put your tongue into your wife’s bum
pusssy licking
erotic search engines
zoo porn
oriental nudity
filipina alma
outdoor threesome
shemale masterbating
brazil firewall router block port
spanking coeds
picture facial features compare chinese korean japenesse
shit be gone
petite fisting
slut wife glory hole
tranny fucks guy
exotic bitches
bondage video
free sexcams no membership
erotic nude girls
chubby young girls
male animal sex
oriental gangbang
drawstring nylon bag
does jacking off stunt the growth of a penis
sex orgy movies
kenmarcus password
dick haymes
roll to roll hot foil label machines
dirty talk while getting fucked
old horny grannies
Textbook Pussies-6 CD-1

freckled boobs
cfnm handjob movie galleries
drunk horny girls
paris hilton nude boobs
gang fuck
springs creative products group
Anal Recruiters CD-2
natural redhead lesbians
hard clit
black girls sucking dick
black milfs
first time virgin sex
kenmarcus password
hung ebony shemales
old guy ffm
wife hidden cam
cute blonde pussy
teen virgin movies
that big tit site
gay double stuff
hustlers muzik
led zepplin black dog
jerking ffm
nudists shaved
deep throat cock gag porn video
ass pussy
kylie wilde squirting
my first sex teacher videos
horny housewives thumbnails
3d free bdsm movies
whipped cream girl
kalamazoo college
crossdressers orgy
free hentai game
web sexcam
lesbian asshole
pre teen cameltoe
latex masks moving lips
cute sluts
stories airport strip search
brazilian porn stars
teen girls sucking cock
ebony lesbian strapon
dog having sex with girl
secretary sexy sucks boss dick
barley legal pussy
make erect nipples
monster cock anime
seating chart large shea stadium
sex flexible
black rape
pre teen fuck
bi sex porn
cum fuck me boots
finance household loan personal
gag gift molds
live streaming cams sin house amsterdam
teen shower orgasm
fucking women
beastiality men
sex toys for women
MILF Fever-6
barbie cummings blog
paris hilton boob job
ass fucked granny
fall out boy where is your boy tonight
young boys in briefs for free
literotica stories
stripped stockings
big boobs handjob
free amateur milf
male animal sex
interracial lesbian with strap-on
monsters fucking
pure handjob
cigarette girl costume
chubby girls having sex
cow fuck
free male celebrities naked
bound for glory
scat cat
missouri personal property tax
mg midget street rod
older men penis
ebony ass clapping porn
dog knot women
panty hose teacher
hentai fuck
free giant dildo girls
bookworm bitches jessica
free erotic ecards
free mature hairy pussy
gay dick suck
naked chick videos
adult halloween party ideas
kick boxing gloves
mom loves pussy
bachelorette party blowjob
double screen doors
fairy tribal tattoo designs
men being spanked
get caught having sex
Waist Watchers CD-1
galleries teens bbs
bondage mouth ring
largest human vagina
petite cum girl
squirt mouth
family gay
labanese gay chat
swallow jism
girl give me head
free blowjob mpeg
nude beach erection
interracial gay wrestling
msn photo swap messenger problem
mily anal beastiality
hot korean girl rides a cock
school girls xxx
big horny brazil
Volgari Punizioni Anali CD-2
femdom male slave
bi and singles travel
suzy zoo characters
skinny dip girl
teacher big boobs
gay dog sex
rocky boot clearance
free petite nude
celebrity male cocks
whip pain bondage tgp brazil
chubby asian girls
tongue in pussy ffm threesome
i deep throat .com
dick sizes
foot fetish galleries
south korean tae kwon do schools
extreme tattoo
asian thong gallery
shemales with boners
wet ebony
horny gay men in showers
cute blowjobs
fist and squirt vids
extreme ping pong
horse fuck girl
tongue piercings painful
beach themed bridal shower
free sample of penis enlargement
zoo fans
extreme flexible girls
illinois breast enlargement doctor
hot blonde chicks getting fucked
first anal encounter
hentai rape porn
forced sex stories
lingerie for young teens
brazilian trannies
bigtits boss
bbw fingering

reality hardcore parties
teen femdom
fresh shaved
ass whore
helen mirren nude
dog obedience school
teenage girls in bikinis
twinks pics
deep fuck
playboy cartoon
brasilia brazil travel fly dirt flight airline flight
lolita sucking
totally free bdsm classifieds
anel sex
foot fetish galleries
free male celebrity sex tapes
cock shaving
first anal pain
naked brazil
hardcore stocking
college coeds in thongs
animal rape
briana banks lesbian
sucking toes stories
all girl toys
wife black cock
young redhead girl
female to male sex change
pierced clit video
pantyhose and nylon smut
sexy teen upskirt
kid thong underwear
christie’s toy box
london term insurance vs whole life
lolita ebony
largest vagina
easy pornstars
brigitte quinns sexy legs
young and horny
black gang bangs
mature giant emormous boobs
mature women licking young girls
anal maids
phx zoo
lip piercing procedure
cock sucking bitches
free classic and retro porn video mpegs
home sex video
devils own foot infantry
nylon feet sex
free lesbian porn movies
black milfs
double undermount corner sink
horny french maid
fat men masturbating
mom rapes son
kalamazoo college
fergie nipple
tattoo skull art
gallery sexy asian lingerie sexy
female bodybuilder wrestling
milfs in thongs
tablets to grow penis longer
shemales with boners
venus pornstar
Blow It Out Your Ass CD-2
hardcore pantyhose
lesbians in bed licking feet
POVerted-6 CD-2
strip club cams
led zepplin black dog
fuck the bitch lyrics
native american indian porn
indy zoo
guy wearing pantyhose
alyssa doll camel toe
dirty adult jokes
hott blondes
scat cat
stories airport strip search
christina enormous natural 42kkk rack
uk tranny
brunette orgy
fist and squirt vids
clit huge big large monster
sexy lesbians using strapon
power fist
texas facial rejuvenation
asain gangbangs
lg vx8300 hacks
extreme fucking machines
male bondage femdom
whore gag
how to fuck a girl
bronco bull sex machine
free licking lesbains
fist logo
Round Butt Sluts-4 CD-2
college coed dorm
erotic sex outdoors
redhead maature porn galleries
bare fist fight
Booty Quake-4 CD-2
jennifer love hewitt paparazzi
hot gorgeous horny coed girls fucked
penis enlargement that works
young nudist girls
free videos granny whores
free nude midgets pics
fucked hard brunette
hentai rape porn
cum in mouth chinese girls
lesbian strapon bdsm
extremely sexy lingerie
young teens skinny dipping
mily anal beastiality
facial abuse lanah
asian girl feet
young guns
dog lover license plate frames
free sexcams no membership
lesbian pussy lick
creampie mpeg free
sonny new found glory mp3
cow fuck
small cfnm
mature doggystyle
latina big tits
skinny dick
pantyhose hentai
hustler magazine constructin workers
secretary sexy sucks boss dick
monster tits free
reality sex outdoor
free sylvia saint
cum on his face
real drunk blowjobs
dick sizes
amature video blog
blowjobs in public free
spanking coeds
femdom movie portal
chubby teen stripping webcam
innocent girl
school girls xxx
dildo suck
destin log
blond ass
boys in pantyhose
cheerleader orgies
naughty nurses big boobs
studio rental paris
ebony cohf
fat people sex
effects of cigarettes smoking
mom fuck
young lolita blog
pics of female rapper trina
mature older moms
lesbian doctor fetish

I wish I could tell you that things will get better.
A pretty girl smiled at me on the way to work.
I wish I could say that I’ll always be there.
I saw a boy struggling to carry on giving his sister a piggy-back, tottering all over the pavement, but not giving up.
I wish I could tell you that you won’t be given more than you can handle.
The sun shone into my office all day long.
I wish I could say the best was yet to come.
As I walked home, fireworks exploded over the rooftops of the terrace.
I wish I could tell you this would be useful someday, that there’s a point to the screaming, cold nights.
I realised how soon I would see you again.
I wish I could say that I loved you this much.

hustler lingerie
zoo porn
naked coeds hard core
male nude beach
asian anal clips
free college sluts
medical sex bondage
crack slut
double cock suck
mom rapes son
jizz on her glasses
forced sex stories
girls masturbating in the shower
coloring pages for adults
lesbian teen movies
sexual assault nurse examiner
vaginal fucking
horse fuck girl
milf interracial
penis close up
illinois breast enlargement doctor
fucking hairy pussy
Round Butt Sluts-4 CD-2
anal sex beads
latex cosmetic sponges
fetish swinger
interest rate swaps accounting
studio rental paris
free nude female athletes
dirty adult jokes
asain girl
interracial gays fucking
verizon lg vx3300 download realtones
breast of bollywood actresses
nude chubby grannies having sex
forced gay
ichigo hentai
hey sexy lady mp3
download free sex videos
brittany spears paparazzi shots
internal creampie eating
lesbian group
nude women in bondage
masturbation video
Waist Watchers CD-1
ebony cohf
hidden toilet vids
lesbian dildo fucking
interracial fuck orgy
family incest cartoons
blowjob babes
sexy heels & stockings
she works hard handjob silvia
breast fuck
mandy moore nipple
davinci’s notebook - enormous penis mp3
horny housewives thumbnails
new york enlarged male breast surgery
bi wing slow stick
bondage tranny
sluts sucking cocks
animal pendants
free first time sex stories
sex strangulation clips
sexy gangbang
cfnm handjob movie galleries
drunk girl blow job
amateur chunky chubby fingering older
adult toys online
lolita sucking
wife in thong
black rape
cum trainer
petite bald pussy
hot blonde wife
bj machine
sleazy dream secretary
story xxx
forced pussy licking
fucked by dog
femdom stories
ariel xxx
beastiality men
daddy gay free
mature giant emormous boobs
shave gels
small filipina boobs xxx
Private Life Of 43 Life of Maria Belucci CD-1
Tit Worship-2 CD-2
dirty debutante ed powers
lesbian lovers squirt
black teenage girls
shemales with boners
tranny strapon
skinny girls short-shorts xxx porn
naked outdoors
facial rejuvenation ct
naked teen lesbians
gays
guy jizz
filipina alma
springs creative products group
moms that fuck young men
hypnosis for quitting smoking
home sex video
boobs sexy
horny french maid
teens first orgasm
asian thong gallery
big tits work
caught fucking my sister
girls pee pee
cfnm torrents
free licking lesbains
extreme flexible girls
fat indian girl
girls cunts
fkk family
secretary sexy sucks boss dick
rape me nirvana
florida indian river guns used military
ashley olsen naked
dirty feet fetish
Loca Latina Sluts-2 CD-1
mature old women
dog having sex with girl
free scat shit videos
teen fuck party
flexible lolita
cover letters + legal secretary
rubber mouth gags
girl boarding school
free male celebrity sex tapes
insulting gag letters and awards
guy wearing pantyhose
rihanna paparazzi
dildo domination
free nude teens
free adult emoticons
sublimal penis enlargement
filipina asian
snake bite lip piercings
big booty pornstars
rubber pvc and plastic fetish
oriental sex
fifty first dates soundtrack
hidden scat
girls fucking dogs
creampie housewives
hot dirty sluts
lady marmalade parties
Discovering The Girl Next Door-3
babes girls hot oral
male animal sex
gymnastic camel toe
cartoon animal porn
free nude midgets pics
helen mirren nude
cute busty brunette scream
milf blowjobs

“I was ever so proud of the new sign I had just bought. A metal plate with a hole to accommodate a screw at each corner and bearing the following in stark black capitals:”NO SALESMEN, NO BEGGARS, NO RELIGIOUS BODIES.” Yes, it might be brusque to the point of rudeness, but I considered my time at home to be my own. I screwed the plate into position, just beside the door at shoulder height - where nobody could miss it. It seemed that my days of being woken at all hours by assorted ne’er do wells and do-gooders were coming to an end.

“The very next day I was woken up by an insistent ringing of the doorbell. All my friends know I work nights at this time of year so I knew there was either some emergency (I don’t trust telephones and wouldn’t dream of having one of those evil things in my house - if there’s a problem at work or with my parents then one of my neighbours is put to the inconvenience of taking a call - they said it was alright for me to give out their number - and preferably taking a message for me or coming and waking me up) or that somebody was rudely ignoring the sign. Bleary eyed, I trundled down the stairs and opened the door. A forty year old creature stood before me. It was wearing a crumpled, brown suit and holding a worn looking brief case. It held out an ID card. It was a salesman!

“I glared and pointed at the sign. “That’s why I’m here,” it said, “It appears that somebody has unscrewed what is undoubtedly a very fine sign and replaced it face down. Kids these days!” It shrugged at me, trying to give the impression that this was something that happened regularly and I was the victim of a growing sign-turning epidemic. “I have the solution to your problem. Pete’s Patented imPregnable Paste! Guaranteed to keep any two surfaces bonded together until one crumbles away. Only five pound a tin.” It knelt down and opened the case and started rattling off some awful sales pitch which I tuned out; I’d seen the screw driver sticking out of his back pocket as he knelt down and recognised the car that he’d obviously driven as one that can be seen perpetually in the car park outside the shop where I bought the sign, and it might have been my imagination, but it looked like there was a uniform for the store hanging in the passenger window. Admiring the cleverness, if nothing else, I interrupted, retreated indoors to pickup some cash and bought a tin - there was no way that sign was going to be moved again this side of eternity.

“Having replaced the sign I returned to my bed and slept soundly. Soundly that is until I was woken again by the doorbell. I crawled out of bed and down the stairs and opened the door expecting the worst. A filthy beggar was standing there. I pointed at the sign and saw the hideous mess the “glue” had made of the wall - it was as if concentrated acid rain had eaten away at the brick leaving a ragged impression where the sign had been. The sign lay face down on the ground. Before the beggar could start what was obviously going to be a drunken and long-winded appeal I told him to hold on a minute. I rummaged through my cupboards, found several tins of food, and a can opener, and a fork. I took these downstairs, grabbing my last five pound note and gave away the lot. Anything for a quiet day’s sleep. I was desperate. The tramp went away with a huge smile on its face as I screwed the sign back into the wall above the crumbly bit. I returned to bed thinking that maybe charity wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

“No sooner had my head hit the pillow than the door bell rang again. By this time I wasn’t thinking straight and grabbed my grandfather’s old service revolver in the hope that I could use it to scare away anybody who shouldn’t be there. I opened the door and pointed straight away to the sign with the gun. Miraculously it was still attached to the wall and facing the right way. “Fuck your sign!” said one of the two conservatively dressed young men holding Bibles and Watchtower magazines. He grabbed the gun, I swear I didn’t know it was loaded, and shot his partner point blank through the head before turning the gun on himself.”

“No further questions, Your Honour.”

(from the cio.com glory days (8th October 2004)

There’s a ghost, you won’t have seen him, but he’s there. All the time, he dances; every where he goes - always dancing. Dancing as if he didn’t have a care in this world, or the next. Who knows? Maybe he doesn’t.

What I do know is that he never stops dancing - sometimes he dances slowly. Sometimes he dances fast. Sometimes it’s the most most beautiful thing you ever saw (but you won’t) - as if he were dancing what a thousand hearts breaking for the love of the same woman all at once felt like - sad, and lonesome, and somehow right at the same time. Sometimes, it’s bad tap routines from hideous old black and white films, and you’d hope his ghostly tongue would be poked firmly into his ghostly cheek - it’s hard to tell. But he’s always dancing. Always.

Some simple folks say that he’s got dancin’ feet, that it’s the night fever, the light of the silvery moon, that he’ll always be dancing and the always has. But he might not, and he hasn’t.
Some slightly more together and knowledgeable types have been heard to say that it’s true - the rhythm DID get him, but that’s a joke that worked better when Chandler said it, and, besides, it’s not even the half of it.
The truth of the matter is, pure and simple, the music took him. It took him and it never let him go.

All of his life, he had loved music. He would sit staring, transfixed, into the speaker of the radio his mother had playing in the back-ground when he was learning to move about - as soon as the music started he would sit where he was and stare at where the music was coming from, when the music stopped and the talking began, he would turn away and his mind would move to other things, but once the music started again he was back round like a whip and staring deep into the speaker.

Of course, his mother fed his fascination. It kept him out of the way, and seemed to be stimulating his little brain, she quickly learned that it didn’t matter what type of music was playing, so long as it played.

As he grew, he started trying to learn about music, but had no aptitude for it whatsoever, which rather than frustrating him, fascinated him all the more - how could something so foreign to his understanding affect him so deeply? All his spare time was spent reading about music, all his pocket money spent on tapes and then later CDs and vinyl. He made friends with people who liked music, hung around with musicians, but soon stopped when he started to feel inferior - it was one thing, not being able to make music or understand it himself, but to listen to conversations about the thing he loved most and not be able to take part at all, the first feelings of jealousy - that these people had a deeper relationship with the thing he loved than he ever could.

So, he retreated behind the music he bought from his meagre earnings at the record store, and all the time they wouldn’t let him work - “You need some time off, we’ve got enough staff to cover the weekend, we’re closed on Sundays.” - he wandered around listening to his music, getting more and more taken up in it as time went by. He quit his job, resenting the interruptions that people made on his listening schedule, moved back in with his mother who fed him and didn’t talk any more, and walked around the town, listening to one of his two i-pods, carrying the other in case the first ran out of power half way through the day.

Every day he would listen, and every day he would become a little more frustrated - he knew he loved the music, but he couldn’t understand any of it! He knew as much of the theory as anybody had any right to, and his head was full of crotchets and key and scales, arpeggios, harmonies and dodgy middle eights, but he still didn’t get it. It was driving him mad and he knew it, but he didn’t know what he could do.

Some days he tried not listening at all, but after an hour or so, he couldn’t cope any longer and back on went the headphones. He tried talking to people, with music on in the back ground, of course, but after the first, “Hello,”s he’d drift away into the music and only notice that the other person had left when the CD needed changing. He couldn’t make any progress, nor could he get away from the need to try.
It was driving him mad.

One day he was walking along the street, down by the old monument in town, when something distracted him. Some say it was a beautiful woman walking past and turning her head for a second glance. Some say it was the bleakness of the newspaper headline blowing around his feet. Some say it was the sheer joy and pleasure on the faces of two children chasing each other around about. Some say it was the pain as he stubbed his toe on a wonky paving stone. Some say it was a minor stroke, causing his brain to stop just for one moment. Others say this is all largely dependent on what people think music is.

It doesn’t matter. That moment’s distraction was all he needed. When his brain started again, everything fell into place, and for the first time in his life he found himself dancing, not just caught up in his head, but all of his being. And he couldn’t stop. Crowds gathered, some cheered, some danced with him, all went away tired as he carried on dancing. At some point he was mugged, and his i-pods with their precious music stolen, but the dance went on.

There’s not much more to tell: how, to get away from the crowds and the jeers, he danced his way to the quiet places; how, one day, some kids, out for kicks, murdered him - their blows and stabs falling as his dance became ever more fluid and graceful as if, with the blood and conciousness leaving him the music took an even greater hold, and how his killers ran screaming away as he kept on dancing long after they’d spent their energies; how, after that, it was all a matter of time running its course and as the dance went on, his body drying out and shrinking until a skeleton in rags danced over the fields, scaring birds. Every so often, there would be a report of some drunken farmer being scared half to death by a dancing scarecrow.

Then, nothing. No trace was found of any remains. The music took him, utterly and completely. He danced until there was nothing left but the ghost of a dance.

And the dance goes on.

You are ushered into a comfortable waiting room with two huge, ornate lift-fronts at one end.  There are rows and rows of chairs opposite the doors - full of people, quietly sitting, watching.  Some are calm, some fidgety, all have noticed that the lifts’ call buttons only have a down arrow and that the arrow on the dial above each door moves very slowly until it reaches three o’clock - as far as it can go - and the door opens, but very, very quickly back the other way to the point at which it stops - somewhere different every time.

The only people you ever see emerging from the lifts are the bell boys.  They walk from the doors to the front of the chairs and point, and nod, and escort a nervous patient to the doors, walking strangely (the bell boys, not the patients) as if their legs weren’t jointed in the right places.  You get the impression that they never point directly at anybody, but, every time two patients start to stand up together, one always sits down very quickly, looking very relieved.

A neighbour turns to you and whispers with a profound air of authority - somewhat like a war veteran who seems far too sane to be saying such crazy things - or like a drunk who grabs you in the street and almost convinces you, until you realise that something does not compute.

“They take them downstairs,” he says.  “Downstairs to talk to their boss.  The patients’ boss, not the bell boys’.”

“Patients?” you ask, worried to have a crazy whispering guy confirming what the narrator had implied you’d been thinking yourself.

“Yeah, patients, customers, whatever.  More applicants really.  Applicants is better.  You see how they’re nervous - the applicants, not the bell boys - you know why they’re nervous?
“No?
“They’re nervous because they know they have to go downstairs and convince their their boss to let them stay.  They’re trying to remember everything they’ve ever done for their boss, what went right, what credit they can claim, what lies they can slip past, what excuses they need to make - why they deserve to stay - they have to convince their boss to let them stay.  It’s why they’re here.  They shouldn’t be nervous though, once they get in the lifts, they’re guaranteed the position they’ve worked for, what they deserve.  There’s no need to grovel and beg, but they all do.”

You’re just about to ask him how he knows all this, when a bell boy shambles over, points and nods.  Your neighbour stands up, turns to you and says, “Gotta go, nice meeting ya, funny how it’s never empty in here.” and then shuffles over to the lifts becoming more and more agitated and reluctant as he goes.

You look around and glance around behind you - the place is full, at least as full as when you arrived, if not fuller, but suddenly the strangest thing you know is that you don’t know how you got there, you can’t remember your journey, in fact, you’re reasonably certain that you couldn’t have come all this way (where are you again?) just to beg for a lousy job it seems you’d get anyway.  As you try to work out what exactly the hell is going on, a bell boy approaches and you feel yourself standing up.  You look around desperately, but all the chairs around you are filled with people resolutely sitting and just-as-desperately avoiding eye contact.  You drag your feet as you follow and suddenly it becomes very important to remember something:

Reasons to stay?
No, that’s not it.

Something else you’d rather be doing?
Closer, closer.

Promises made in the heat of the night?
Closer, closer.

A life pact made with your best friend?
Closer, closer.

The arrow hits three o’clock with a dull “PONK!”
Did you leave the gas on?
Closer, closer.

The doors slide open.
No, that’s not it either - if only you could think!
Closer, closer.

And then it hits you:
A gust of hot stale air from the lift shaft,
The truth, the question, and the answer,
A hint of fresh air from a door you hadn’t noticed before - right next to the lift.  It is open, there are steps beyond it, steps leading upwards, and you…

Apparently in last week’s Big Issue there was an article about these guys.

It seems I’m not alone.

Well, kind of.

Today I was reduced to voting for the Green Party as a protest vote.  None of the real lunatic fringe were in evidence, and I thought, “There’s an opening there.”

It would be great to stand as a representative of The Protest Party - a non-aligned collection of candidates whose only point is to provide an outlet for voters’ frustration and sense of outrage at being offered the same old non-choices.  Of course, we wouldn’t have any policies ourselves, but there are bound to be more people out there (surely?) who would welcome the chance to officially register a protest by other means than not voting or supporting the Conservatives.

Of course this could backfire utterly and completely, but I doubt I’d find myself in parliament or even on the council.  I’d merely have to find a way of raising the deposit money without much hope of ever seeing it again.

What do you think?

(and I know the “none of the above” campaign in Brewster’s Millions was a roaring success, but how often does life imitate art?)

And I can just about bear to look at a computer again. It’s not a general encouragement to look at the screen to have a beautiful day outside, all a manner of interesting feathered birds hanging around in plain view of my window (I’ve seen goldfinches, woodpeckers, pigeons, blackbirds, greenfinches, blue tits, starlings, cole-tits, sparrows, bullfinches, possibly a crossbill and a large thrush like bird whose name I keep forgetting), and the mother of all headaches - it felt like I’d been stabbed through my left lobe.

But life is good, I managed to use the kitchen to cook this week and haven’t died of food poisoning, I’ve got my ticket booked for Rodrigo y Gabriella at the Newcastle Carling Academy in June, I’ve got my ticket booked for Spiderman 3 on Friday afternoon, one of my friends launches an exhibition of her photography at a local gallery this evening, I’ll be at a barbeque on Friday night and it’s lunch time.

I haven’t mentioned the cricket ground just outside my office - it’s infuriating, but just as well that there’s a six foot fence interrupting my view, or I’d get absolutely no work at all done during the summer - I love hearing the sounds of cricketting and bird song. I couldn’t really ask for a better location.

And so I write one final cliche…

Ahh, but was it as much fun for you as it was for me?

We’ve had weirdness - the time-stampery-jiggery-pokery where the server clock kept jumping forwards hours at a time was very strange and when it jumped back it messed up the comments, but we defeated it! Kind of. Worked around it.

We’ve had chat, we’ve had silliness, some serious bits, and raised a bundle of notes for good causes.

All that remains is:

For me to thank my gracious tech-support and wonderful fellow LifePoster: Nicky I couldn’t have done it with out you - you’ve been great.

To thank the many commenters and chatterers who’ve helped keep my spirits up through the night.

To say that I’ll be happy to do the same again next year, and that in the mean time my Justgiving site is still running and I’m prepared to write more polished entries more or less to spec for similar levels of donations until it closes.

Thank you, and good night Vienna.

It’s been great fun writing for the blogathon.

Here’s a list of the physical resources that have gone into making this blogathon possible (and that’s just the writing of these bits):

Two large pots of coffee

Six cups of Yorkshire Tea

Three Peperami sausages (two black, one green)

Half a giant bag of  chilli tortilla chips

One pot of cold pasta bake

Several pints of orange squash

Five cotton buds

Eight sheets of tissue paper

A quarter inch of each of my typing fingers - that’s maybe seven eights of an inch between them.

And, has it been worth it.  You bet your life it has.  It’s been great fun.  And money to a good cause too.

Hurray!